If you're an op shopping, vintage loving mumma like me what I'm about to talk about, I'm sure at some point along your thrifting jaunts you will of experienced similar. I don't know what others do, but my trips out treasure hunting are not reserved for moments when I'm by myself. Goodness if I waited for those moments, I wouldn't have as much to blog about or an emerging business. The fact that I have kids is not something I really allow to affect passions and aspirations, I get on with life with them in tow. For the main part we have a great time together when they are with me on these jaunts. They get to play with toys whilst I rummage around, I sit on shop floors and read books to them, occasionally I will buy a small toy, we visit parks afterwards, before or in between shops if we're on a big thrifting adventures, and so much more.
Now don't get me wrong I'm not lugging them around on adventures with me every other day of the week for my selfish desires, far, far, far from it. But yes just as a trip to the supermarket for groceries or to the post office they are with me, it's life, that's how it is. Now what has got a bee under my bonnet is shop volunteers who feel that it's they're entitled position to tell my children how inappropriate their behaviour is, that they are naughty and a handful, and discuss audibly with other staff and other shoppers my child's behaviour, because my child is having a bad moment. Now before you think I'm be precious about this, I take exception to this type of occurrence because I'm a very hands on parent. So when these situations arise I'm on it straight away dealing with, I'm in dialogue with my child about it. My children have never broken an item in a store, they are always expected to pack away toys and books they have pulled off shelves and I always assist. If ever they have made any sort of big disruption they are asked to apologise.
But for those shop volunteers who feel it's necessary to belittle my child, imply to others I have poor parenting skills. Seriously can't you stop for a second and see the difference between a mum like me and the others I frequently see in stores who do let their children run wild, break things, make no apologises, make a mess don't clean it up, make a scene and make no effort to deal with the situation. I realise these other mums who don't rein their kids in may have struggles up against them, I'm not stupid I realise that. But seriously dear shop volunteer you are often from an older generation, you possibly have several children of your own (albeit all grown up) and many grand and great-grand children as I hear from many of you. How about you give a mum a break from your criticism of her and her child. Surely you remember what it's like to have those moments with your child, where they don't display their best behaviour and you're left dealing with a difficult situation. Didn't you just wish at those times, that someone had said something kind to you, told you to take your time, offered you a hand or a cup of tea.
I'm not a bad parent, my child's having a moment, and your interjection is making it worse because they don't know you and you're being horrible in front of them to the person that loves them the most their mum. Back off and give me some space to deal with the situation, we will be out of your way just as soon as you do. Please don't forget you're the face of a charity and it's just as easy for me to stop shopping at your store and not donate and take my business and my charity and goodwill somewhere else.
Monday, February 4, 2013
Notice to Op Shop Volunteers, I'm not a bad parent.....
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Trudie, I see this all the time when I'm out shopping and it puts a bee under my bonnet too, and I'm not even a parent! Just the other day I was at an op shop and a child was hiding in the clothes racks. His mum called out his name and told him to go look at the toys, stop mucking up the clothes. He cheekily took one more turn through the racks and poor mum (and little boy) copped an earful off the volunteers! I was totally taken aback because I had a chuckle at the boys cheek and watched as he went on to the toy section and here is this older lady making a huge scene about it! I totally understand why it would irk you as a parent - you are doing your best and being a mum is far from easy. It irked me as a fellow customer and I was half tempted to comment to the lady about her overreaction! Hopefully there are a few volunteers out there who read this and take it in their stride :)
ReplyDeleteI'd never cop any of this at my fav little oppy. But this morning I ducked in elsewhere after popping into a post office near by. The staff kept commenting about my son being a handful as well as other implications and mutterings of course.
DeleteThat is just so disappointing!
DeleteWe have one lady at a kids clothing co-op run by one of the local churches.
ReplyDeleteThey have toys set up for the kids to play with while the parents shop. It's fabulous really heaps of toys. But the lady that takes it upon herself to supervise them is a real cow.
She is always telling the children what not to do. Don't do this, don't do that.
The kids love to grab one of the kid prams or trolleys and run from one end to the other. Which we always tell them not to do. Walk don't run.
One day she told my 4yo not to run as he might flal and hurt himself. I hadn't even had the chance to tell he to stop in the first place before she jumped in, but I kindly said that if he slipped and hurt himself then he'd learn. She said but then she would have to patch him up. My response - No you won't I am his mother and I will do it, that's what mothers do.
She got the message and was much nicer the next time we were in :)
Hi Becci, I don't mind my child being politely told be careful that could do x,y,z if you do x, y,z to it. But it's certainly another matter to speak about my child in front him/her and say they are a handful, naughty etc. Really at the day if the child is having an issue with me store stock hasn't been involved, it's even more so none of their business.
DeleteYes that is terrible behaviour especially of an adult that should know better.
DeleteIt was more the scolding way that she would say it. Was on kids (not just ours) case as soon as they walked in the door too.
Was very close to saying something if she didn't back off soon. Mind you we haven't been back there for months, haven't needed to.
WOW - I didn't realise that that sort of thing happened. I know that older people - sometimes - try to help but they really don't have any idea about some things.
ReplyDeleteI hope that they stop giving you grief and you can continue to do what you do so well - parenting your children and op shopping !!!
Have a great week !
Me
Goodness gracious Trudie. I wish these people would keep their opinions to themselves. I'm always giving people the 'sympathetic eye' to let them know that I go through what they are every day. Not ridicule them into thinking their doing a bad job. I'm always reminded of my childhood and the fact that in those days, these women never went anywhere. Their children were always at home until they went to school. Now we have more freedom and are able to get around, a lot more people are seeing what children are really like. My Mum could never understood why my kids didn't behave cooped up in a shopping trolley for 3 hours. Go figure!
ReplyDeleteDon't worry about it. You, more than anyone, is doing a fabulous job!
Anne xx
I've seen some Mums (or guardians) that have left their children unsupervised in op shops, and who've completely wrecked the toy section. This is obviously not the case for you, so its a real shame you've experienced this with op shop volunteers. I must admit, I've received the odd glance of disapproval in some op shops, but mostly, its been OK. Good on you for putting your story out there!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your comments on my blog Trudie, love how you run two great blogs and also find the time to drop by and read mine!! Love the new look blogs, hope you are super duper!!!!!:)
ReplyDelete